Category Archives: Hazards of Love

Best Stories in Songs

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I’m a big fan of the narrative told in a song.  Yes, you can argue (clever you) that every song tells a story.  But what about those songs that are TRYING to tell a story?  A very specific one with characters?

Yeah.  Those songs slay me.  And I’ve decided that you all need to know my favorites.  Because I’m right.

“Lake Pontchartrain” by Ludo.

This song is creepy.  And wonderful.  And gets you pumped.  And it was awesome when Ludo opened the St. Louis concert in August with this.

So.  The story goes that the narrator and his two friends (Darius and Nolan) are going on a road trip.  Just trying to get out of Missouri.  No big deal.  Only it ends at Lake Pontchartrain.  Here’s a video with the lyrics.  Enjoy it.

“That’s how it happened.  Why would I lie?  There were no bodies, I’ve got none to hide.”

“Bronx Sniper” by Mister Heavenly

This song is quite powerful.  Nick Thorburn’s crooning voice sings of a sniper who’s gunning people down, while Ryan Kattner’s (Sidenote: I’m convinced I could be happy living in a cardboard box if Ryan would live in it with me) harsher tones sing of having no remorse while he’s gunning people down.

Really, powerful is the best way to describe it.  Here’s the official video, and here’s a link to the lyrics.*

“I shot you down.  You never had a chance in hell.  I shot you down.  And I felt no remorse ’cause this heart’s a stranger and you’ll love it ’cause it’s dangerous like, this heart’s a stranger and you’ll love it ’cause it’s dangerous like yours.”

“Transistor Radio” by Cloud Cult

I’ve mentioned this song before, but it’s worth mentioning again.  This song is really great.  It’s all about a little boy discovering that his grandfather, who had passed away years ago, was trying to contact him and let him know something important.  The boy goes through a journey, eventually coming to the conclusion that his grandfather was trying to tell him that,

“Where I’ve been, where I am is the show.”

Here’s the song, and here are the lyrics.  Prepare to feel a bit weepy.

“O Valencia!” by The Decemberists

This song is Romeo and Juliet.  It’s a song about forbidden love, and it’s done in such an upbeat way that you almost don’t notice the chick dying…except she does.  It’s sad.  And the music is really catchy.  It’s weird in a way you’d expect from The Decemberists.

Here’s the official video, and here’s a link to the lyrics.

“Oh Valencia! With your blood still warm on the ground.  Valencia!  And I swear to the stars, I’ll burn this whole city down.”

“The Mariner’s Revenge Song” by the Decemberists

Okay.  I know what you’re thinking.  I’m just putting up Decemberists songs because they’re my favorite band.  You’re halfway right.  I’m really familiar with their discography.  As in, I can tell you what was released when, what was going through Colin Meloy’s head when he wrote individual songs, and how good the song is live.

And “The Mariner’s Revenge Song” is just something that sticks with you.  I’ve seen it live twice now and, wow.  It’s kind of the bomb (assuming the bomb consists of the band members pretending to die midway through the song and Colin telling the audience exactly how loud he wants them to scream).

This song is about a boy who’s mother dies after being taken advantage of by a sailor.  The boy vows revenge and, years later, he comes quite close to getting it.

If you don’t listen to any of the other songs, or read any of the other lyrics, do yourself a favor and listen to and/or read the words for this one.  It’s that good.

Here’s the song with the lyrics.

“It gives my heart great joy to see your eyes fill with fear.  So lean in close and I will whisper the last words you’ll hear.”

“The Gambler” by Fun.

I’ve mentioned this song before, because I happen to think it’s a wonderful romantic song.  It’s about the life of a couple, after they meet when they’re 18.  It goes through the phases of their relationship, ending with their children coming to visit them again (presumably when the couple is now old and adorable).  When I started off writing this post, I didn’t think I wanted to include any mushy-type things at all.  That being said, it seemed right to mention this one.  It’s how everyone wants their love story to go (if they’re sane), so deal with my brief romantic moment.

Here’s the song with the lyrics.

“But like the night you took my hand beside the fire, thirty years ago to this day.  You swore you’d be here ’til we decide that it’s our time, well it’s not time, you’ve never quit in all your life.  So just take my hand, you know that I will never leave your side.  You’re the love of my life, you know that I will never leave your side.”

“Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)” by Arcade Fire

This is arguably my favorite Arcade Fire song.  I love it.  It’s a story about a boy and a girl who are alone in the world due to what must have been one heck of a snow storm.  Listen to it and tell me it doesn’t have some of the most beautiful melodies and imagery in it (hint: don’t actually tell me that.  I’ll know you for a liar).

Here’s the song and the lyrics.

“Then, we tried to name our babies, but we forgot all the names that, the names we used to know.  Sometimes we remember our bedrooms and our parent’s bedrooms and the bedrooms of our friends.  Then we think of our parents.  Well, whatever happened to them?”

“Jellybones” by The Unicorns

This song is hilarious.  It’s about a patient being diagnosed with a very serious case of JELLYBONES.  Unfortunately, the doctor can’t do anything for him.

Here’s the song and the lyrics.

“I woke him up and broke the news.  After everything was sewn I said, ‘Son, you’ve got a full-blown case of what is known as Jellybones.’”

“The Hazards of Love” by The Decemberists

Of course, the songs mentioned earlier don’t include a couple of what I consider excellent concept works.  The first is “The Hazards of Love” by The Decemberists.

This album is genius.  The entirety of it (from the first song to the last) flows seamlessly into one another to tell a story about Margaret, her shape-shifting lover, and the trials they go through.  It’s wonderful.

Here’s a playlist with every song in the album.  And, word to the wise: Sometimes, you can shuffle the playlists I provide you and you will not be threatened with bodily harm.  This time, however, I HIGHLY recommend you follow my advice and DO NOT SHUFFLE.  You will do yourself a disservice, since you will undoubtedly not know what’s going on.  The story is complex.  Don’t underestimate it.

“The Hazards of Love, you’ll learn soon enough.  The prettiest whistles won’t wrestle the thistles undone.  Undone.”

“The Tain” by The Decemberists

I also recommend listening to “The Tain” by The Decemberists.  It began in the same tradition that “Hazards” did, but I think the EP isn’t (purely because of time constraints) as well developed and epic as “Hazards.”

“Darling, dear, what have you done?  Your hands and face are smeared with blood.”

“Broken Bride” by Ludo

Then we have what I would probably say is my favorite EP, the “Broken Bride” EP by Ludo.  If you’ve seen/read “The Time Machine,” you know the general plot of the EP.  Of course, that doesn’t begin to do it justice.  It’s really an epic five songs, and won’t take you too much time to listen.

“I crashed before the birth of Christ, pterodactyls swarming.  You died in 1989, wanna get back to that morning in May.  Keep you in bed.  Never escape.  Holding you close.  Listen to you breathe the evening’s glow of fading light and cooling space.”

Am I missing other concept albums that deserve a shout out?  Probably.  Tell me about it.  Otherwise I’ll never know the error of my ways, and I’ll be insufferably arrogant forever.  Do you really want THAT on your conscience?

*I disagree with some of the lyrics this site has up.  I think the first line is “Later on in the epilogue, THEY FOUND HIM,” and that the last lines of the chorus are “This heart’s a stranger AND YOU’LL LOVE IT ’cause it’s dangerous like, this heart’s a stranger AND YOU’LL LOVE IT ’cause it’s dangerous like yours.”

Best Creepy Song Quotes

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Happy Halloween, you little ghoulies.

I hope you had a good weekend dressed up in your costumes and eating candy and doing nothing else that would make anyone blush or pretend to not hear so we don’t run screaming to the cops.

I know I’ve given you some playlists designed to get you in a creepy mood, but I decided that wasn’t enough.  So, here are my favorite creepy song quotes.  Feel free to chime in if you agree or disagree.  But I’m right. Always.

Fought and fell for our great king we burned alive and boiled /  The dragon, red and wrathful calls, we rise and march once more / Cursed in death, we starve for flesh / Our skin is cooked and curled / We’ll eat our kin and smash them in / In Hell, we’ll grind their bones. – Save Our City by Ludo

I’m a killer / Cold and wrathful / Silent sleeper / I’ve been inside your bedroom / I’ve murdered half the town / Left you love notes on their headstones / I’ll fill the grave yard / Until I have you. – Horror of Our Love by Ludo

I’ve got a / Taste for blood / Leave the weak / Leave the young / I’ve got a / Taste for blood / I’m walking out / Without you / You will kill / Or be killed / It’s about / Progress / I’ve got a / Taste for blood. – Plans by Bloc Party

Ply her heart / With gold and silver / Take your sweetheart down to the river / Dash her on the paving stones / It may break your heart / To break her bones but / Someone’s got to do the culling / Of the fold. – Culling of the Fold by the Decemberists

Don’t hold out for rescue / None can hear your call / ‘Til I have wrest and wrecked you / Behind these fortress walls. – Margaret in Captivity by the Decemberists

And that’s how I came / Your humble narrator / To be living so easy and free / Expect that you think that I should be haunted / But it never really bothers me / All right. – The Rake’s Song by the Decemberists

Right from the start i was stabbed in the heart / Didn’t know i wasn’t breathing / Didn’t know i had been bleeding / Open my door thought I was alone / but someone was hiding /In the dark room in my home. – Creeper by Islands

In the back of my mind / I want to do bad things / I want to be unkind / When I’m in my room / I love the shadows / Of my bad bones / I have thoughts I won’t share / Because I don’t think I could bear to face you / With the lights on / I feel evil creeping in. -I Feel Evil Creeping In by Islands

Of course, there are also some good musicals you should think about.  Nightmare Before Christmas, Repo! The Genetic Opera and Evil Dead the Musical, to name a few.

Oh, and remember!  The contest ends tomorrow.  I’ve had some pretty sweet entries, and I want to make sure everyone has the opportunity to enter!  Send me your best song titles, people.  That’s the only way to win.

New Dance Card goes up tomorrow…are you ready for November?  I’m getting pumped.

And with that, good night and good luck.  Hope you survive the evening.

The Decemberists – New EP “Long Live the King”

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Some people in the known universe might not know this yet.  The Decemberists are my favorite band.  I think they’re brilliant.  I own all of their albums and EPs, I’ve seen them in concert two times (which doesn’t even seem comparable to the sheer amount of love I have for them), I have three shirts and a sweatshirt and I am a proud owner of “Wildwood” by the esteemed Colin Meloy, illustrations by Carson Ellis, a genius of the arts.

My shirts, posters, books of the Decemberists or by a member.

I follow Colin, Carson, Nate Query and Chris Funk (and, of course, the Decemberists band) on Twitter.  I know details about their lives that either make me a dedicated fan, or extremely creepy (or both).  What I’m saying is, I really like them.  A lot.

So imagine my incredible glee in hearing that a new EP is coming out on November 1 (3 days before my birthday…I think the cosmos planned it this way).  ”Long Live the King” promises to be a continuation of the delightfully folksy and sweet “The King is Dead.”  And they’re covering The Grateful Dead.  What more could you ask of a band?

The cover of the new Decemberists EP, "Long Live the King."

I won’t launch into how perfect the artwork is, particularly when compared with the original artwork from “The King Is Dead.”  Without a doubt, my favorite EP cover Carson has conjured (she is a magician of the arts).

If you haven’t listened to any Decemberists, I’m a little disappointed in you.  Maybe this kind of music “isn’t your thing,” but they are an eclectic group, with a wide variety of genres to choose from.  If you’re looking for a story, “Crane Wife” or the entirety of “Hazards of Love” shan’t lead you astray.  If you want something you can really jam to, “O Valencia!” could be that song.  If you want a melancholy song about winter, “January Hymn.”

If you want a song with the word “panoply” in it, THERE’S A SONG FOR THAT (“June Hymn”).  Also, don’t feel bad if you have to look up the meaning of that word.  I did.

The Decemberists: Good for a jam session AND a vocabulary lesson.

Really, just look them up on http://grooveshark.com/ and play a song that snags your attention.  There will be many titles that intrigue, I’m sure.

Oh, and there’s one more memento of my love for the Decemberists I almost forgot about.

My Decemberists tattoo inspired by the song "Red Right Ankle" and the cover of "Her Majesty the Decemberists".

And, as a final thought dearies, be on the lookout for your October Dance Card (ie, Concert Calendar).  It’s gonna be a crazy month.